Monday, March 24, 2014

Preparing Your Child for Their Life as a Superhero

Unless your child was born with the inherent powers that they will need in his adult life as a superhero, he is going to have to develop his skills.  With the market for superheroes at an all time high, we as parents must do all that we can to ensure the successful development of the next generation of heroes.  If you are unsure of what to do, don't fret!  By following these simple steps, you can rest assured that your little one will be the superhero of tomorrow that the world wants... and needs.

The Name

You can go one of two ways with this one.  Either you give him his alter ego name, or you give him his superhero name and hope he can develop into it.  The alter ego name is the safer bet with your own last name gracing the birth certificate, but there is nothing stopping you from naming your little one "The Crusher" or "The Blue Bullet."  You better be sure you know what powers your kid will develop or learn along the way because it'll be awfully embarrassing if "The Human Inferno" uses his water gun to take down crime.  Criminals won't take him seriously and while lil' old Inferno may get the job done, the criminals will have quite the laugh at his expense.  Instead, stick to the alter ego name.  Let him decide on the superhero name and maybe offer your assistance when asked.

Teaching Compassion

Above all else, a superhero must show compassion in all that she does.  A superhero who doesn't look out for her fellow man isn't a hero and isn't that super in my opinion.  This is an easy one that you can start with as soon as your child is born.  Pretend that you are a superhero and show compassion to everyone you meet.  Your child will see this and learn the correct ways to interact with the "lesser beings."  But don't just do this when you are out with her - it has to happen at home as well.  Your interaction with your spouse or significant other will show your little one how to interact with those "in charge" and how to handle stressful situations like deciding on a movie or what carryout to order without resulting in the dreaded game of silence.  

Teaching Skills

Testing out Jack's flight capabilities
If you find that your child doesn't quite have the gift of flight or super strength, don't worry, we can work on other skills that will prove beneficial in his superhero career.  From an early age, studies have shown that superheroes who spend as much time with their parents as possible develop skills missing from those who haven't.  Leading scientists are studying why this is the case, but initial studies have shown that the secret formula L0v3, which is exuded into the air during fun family events, causes a chemical reaction in the child's brain that increases their ability to learn and develop the skills necessary for their crime fighting future.  

Teaching Teamwork

Your child's future coworkers
If you followed all of the other steps outlined above then your child will eventually be inducted into The Justice League.  If you have followed their escapades in the past then you'll know they are a fickle bunch that often fight among themselves about as much as they do with criminals.  Conflict resolution and teamwork are going to be key if your child is going to retain their spot in this most prestigious of groups and become the go-to liaison between Earth and The League.  Team sports or group centered extracurricular activities are a great way to instill these life lessons in your child so that when she does get the call, she is ready to join.  While playing sports she can not only stay active but develop friendships with the people she is going to protect one day.  These friendships will do wonders to keep her grounded and above all else, fulfill her when she spends a long day at the office fighting criminals.

Dealing With Stress

It might not happen immediately, but it will happen eventually - your child is going to become a star in the people's eyes.  This celebrity status will bring paparazzi snapping pictures through his windows, and groupies knocking on his door.  This level of attention is sure to bring about a certain amount of stress when all he wants to do is fulfill his destiny fighting crime.  Prepare your child for these moments by listening to him when he comes to you with issues, no matter how insignificant they may seem.  Never belittle his concerns because while something may seem overblown to your adult mind, in the mind of a child it is devastating.  These skills will help him grow a thick carapace to deflect any stress that may be directed in his general vicinity.

Jack trying out other outfits
By following these simple guidelines you can make sure that your child receives the proper training needed in order to fulfill his destiny of becoming a superhero.  Superheroes are rarely born with their powers, instead having to focus their lives on developing their powers into tools that can be used.  Without the proper base given to them by their parents, the world may be doomed to miss their chance of meeting the next great superhero presence on Earth.  Do yourself and the world a favor, raise your kids right so that we may all benefit from the gifts they will impart upon humanity.

1 comment:

  1. My younger boy (7) is already on track for this. He is modeling himself after Captain Underpants. He seems to have a new name every other week. He doesn't talk about stress but does talk about saving the day.